KENYAN AND CRAZY

Posts

I AM A ADDICT PART 12 - THE CONCLUSION

Hi Everyone, my name is Kevin and i am an addict. It’s been 1,360 days since I last shared and not to tempt fate but, I think I am healed. It has been crazy roller coaster ride of relapses, stuff that i may not be proud off crossing my mind and generally the kind of pain and trauma that i never thought I would make it out off. I started through this journey of recovery maybe 5 or 6 years ago and during that time i think i have learned more than i thought i would. My vision is a lot more clearer and even though i am a lot more hardy than i was, i think that its all for the best. I really don’t need to share more than that. Thank you for all those who stood with me.

A COLLABORATOR TO POST COLONIAL OPPRESSION

I wrote this title quite some time ago but didn’t put words to it. It’s taken me a few minutes to try and put meaning to the words but just as i am sitting here I realize why. There hasn’t been much activity from me in a while but that mostly is because I realized that I was letting my personal life appear too frequently in my writing. That kind of transparency is honestly not good for relationships and stability. They say never let them see you sweat, which would basically mean I cant plaster my day to day struggles on the internet for all to see. This topic however has very little to do with me and a lot more to do with the power that other people are yielding over us as a society. Not to just throw blame in one direction, we are very complicit in all this and thats what has been bothering me. Since the last time I posted, my life has become way different. My wife and I now have two kids, live in our own home and we are now basically working ourselves like crazy to build some stabi

THERE IS NO MORE GREATNESS TO ASPIRE TO....

Public service is supposed to be the hardest , least financially rewarding and thankless career to aspire to but should be a calling to some. The idea of waking up every morning and performing tasks and duties without the notion of personal wealth, with only the thought that it may ease the lives of others, is not meant to be an easy one. The endless toil of 14 hour days and long durations of time spent away from your home and your loved ones wouldn't be classified as typical human behavior especially when those closest to you feel that they have lost you to the masses. What could possibly lead someone to live a life like that, where your own life hangs in the balance and you resist every urge of self preservation . One ends up choosing a life of altruism and they end up alienating the ones closest to them who may not be able to understand why they do that. They chose to do this becasue they have a moral obligation to what is right and just..............well, some do. When parent

I AM AN ADDICT.....PART 11- THE CHECK UP

Hi, I am Kevin and I am Addict. Its been 1,180 days since i shared in this group. I see some familiar faces like Mark over there. Stay strong brother, good to see you are still alive. I guess since only Mark and I laughed, we are the only ones who get it. I see some new faces, hey everyone, and off course our group counselor. For the new people around, a few years a go I hit rock bottom. For those who are yet to get hat feeling it is both the worst feeling in the world and a blessing for those who survive it. My addiction pushed me to lows that I didn't know. My own self-worth was tied to the feeling that this drug gave me and to be honest I never thought I could be able to let it go. Just to be completely honest , especially for those who just joined the group, you never really stop wanting to use. You will always want that puff, the snort , that one pill that you feel you need to get you through the next minute of your life. The true power of sobriety comes from being able to

I am......

I am a writer... I think, I see, I transcribe into words, I tell a story and pretend that my work isn't influenced by any personal feelings. Unfortunately its never that easy, Eminem said music is just reflection of self so whatever words i conjure up will be seasoned with my thoughts and feelings. Its what sometimes makes the difference between the good and the bad writers. One of my favorite novelists is Jeffrey Archer, I have read a few of his first books .My favorite books were on the Kane and Abel series and after doing some research I realized how autobiographical they were. He wrote his first book (Not a penny more, not a penny less) after he resigned from his post as a British MP. He had fallen prey to a fraudulent scheme that left him 500,000 pounds in debt. Comparatively the book talks about a group of investors who were taken in by a wealthy conman, they invested all they had and on discovering the con vowed to get their money back "Not a penny more not a penny le

To first love letters..........

Millennials , as they call them, do not know this feeling. They grew up on text messages and emails. They could snapchat and Facebook message stuff. They could send videos of themselves on whatsapp and all that new tech stuff. Just realized something, they would categorize me as a millennial. Millenial or otherwise I know what that feeling was like, when someone hands you a letter. Whatever the color of the envelope , you could feel the excitement building up inside of you, It could be anyone, mother may be telling you to expect them on visiting day, An aunt may have sent a letter with some money folded inside of it. All this sounds like boarding school behavior, it actually is. The days when people used to dedicate songs to each other on the bottom of the letter. My personal favorite was "I need a girl" by p diddy. To be totally honest, I never actually was a ladies man in high school. I was in a mixed high school but just having the girls there was good enough. I was

Its My "SPECIAL" Day.......

Over the years I have realized that this is what I would call my 'Vanity Blog', I don't write it to get noticed but for it to echo to myself. I have written things here both in drafts and published posts that I would not say out loud to anyone else, I keep doing it because its like a conversation I have with some one out there. Some one I cant see but I know they are out there. Weird as it sounds I find it therapeutic. So today is my birthday and I figured, I better just post something about today....... Like many people, I usually get birthday blues. Its usually a feeling that starts a couple of days before my birthday where I think of the fact that now I have to change my age. The number I use to explain my status in life is going up again. I only actually started to get birthday blues a couple of years ago when I moved to Mombasa. Far away from family, friends and the place I could call home. It really brought out the home sickness in me. Thankfully I had made new fr