I AM AN ADDICT......PART 3

Hi Im kevin and Im an addict...
I lost my day count today. Today was a good day,just like ice cube said but not the whole day was bad. I surrounded myself with friends and family but it seems it wasnt enough. I borrowed a friends car and drove myself straight to a place where I knew I would get a hit and I took it. Whats strange is that it didnt feel good. It felt worse than I ever let it feel, my heart felt dark and the immidiate feeling of being a failure washed over me. I expect a lot from myself and I couldnt follow my one most important rule which was dont place yourself in a situation where you will be tempted. I start the sobriety process again and I ask the lord to give me the strength to accept the things I cant change.
Hi Im Kevin and Im an addict.....

Comments

Always looking out for number 1

I just got a new job that is sales in nature , my previous job was an I.T. position which gave me a chance to compare the differences between humans and machines. A machine is supposed to be predictable ,with a particular set of inputs you get a particular set of outputs. A human is supposed to be unpredictable where one group wants to go left there is this guy who always wants to go right. However, I realized that machines can be at some point unpredictable while the humans vice versa. A human will be predictable in that every little situation you bring to him will only flow with your idea if and only if it is of some benefit to them. That brings me to the basis of this topic today, number in is you and your immediate interests and issues if importance. With that being said, I would love to burst the bubbles of certain individuals who seem to rely too much on other people. If you are an adult and probably approaching middle age, you are of three different levels of life : accomplis...

She ain't going nowhere.....

Loneliness has always been a a friend of mine, way back when my thoughts were my own and very few people knew of my very existence. Today the loneliness is back and it's back with a vengeance. "So what you upto tonight?" Asked John knocking me out of my deep thoughts. "Nothing much , got some writing to do and the words are at my finger tips and I don't want to lose them." I replied. John has always wanted the best for me, sort of like the big brother I never had. He opened up his doors to me this time when Mary threw me out for the first time. Who is Mary you ask. Where to start about Mary, well she was my first love and the first person who knew me behind the curtain I raised for most people. What did I do to get kicked out... "STOP DAYDREAMING DUDE!!!" John screamed while shaking me. I hadn't noticed I had just wondered off. "Okay Bro, since you are determined to stray my thoughts what do you have in mind?" I said hoping he...

Nairobians and their class differences.....

So I like wearing power branded shoes sold by bata, some like weinbreinners and there are people who u really don't understand that wear sketchers. This is the most basic way of describing the different levels that we have in Nairobi, by levels I mean classes. There are those who treat crocs like something you wear around the yard while others may have it as a Sunday best. Don' t ask me if i have actually seen this but I'm sure it happens regularly. Class isn't a new thing , from the aristocracy all the way to the caste system in India the classes have been clearly defined for millennia. I have a personal theory about this, with such a large population and there being such a powerful hunger to survive, people decided to try and define their difference between themselves and the others. When we first existed, the human race had such a low population that we required each other to survive. People may have existed like the bushmen of south africa where there were units of...

KENYAN AND CRAZY

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