I AM AN ADDICT......PART 3

Hi Im kevin and Im an addict...
I lost my day count today. Today was a good day,just like ice cube said but not the whole day was bad. I surrounded myself with friends and family but it seems it wasnt enough. I borrowed a friends car and drove myself straight to a place where I knew I would get a hit and I took it. Whats strange is that it didnt feel good. It felt worse than I ever let it feel,  my heart felt dark and the immidiate feeling of being a failure washed over me. I expect a lot from myself and I couldnt follow my one most important rule which was dont place yourself in a situation where you will be tempted. I start the sobriety process again and I ask the lord to give me the strength to accept the things I cant change.
Hi Im Kevin and Im an addict.....