KENYAN AND CRAZY

          I am in the wilderness right now under a clear sky watching the stars. It's s crescent moon today and all I hear around me is crickets and the distant laughter of a team having their retreat. There is a faint sound of lovemaking going on in the next the room, lucky them but I wouldn't want it to bother me much. The crescent moon has two stars forming a triangle with it. At first glance they look like stars but in reality I am looking at Jupiter and Venus. An article I read the other day told me that for the last few weeks and for another one week the two planets will seem to be extremely close from our perspective. Questions abound I believe, how is it that the second and fifth planet end up looking so close to each other well I'll probably answer that later. Well so what does this mean to me? Immediately I just think of what someone once told me, only parallel lines don't meet. When two individuals from different backgrounds cultures etc are meant to meet t

Hi Im Kevin and Im an addict...                           Its my last day. Kinda feels like the last day of school since you guys have been a major part of my recovery and I hate having to leave. I remember the first day I literally had to be dragged here and open up but now talking things out is an importatant tool towards staying sober. Who knew that I wouldn't be able to make it this far. I always figured I'd be able to escape and find myself back to my old ways but the distance and isolation this place offers helped me a lot. Im going it out on my own and I would like to thank each and everyone of you. As per the recovery steps I shall continue following the path layed out for me, attend meetings and try and live a clean life. Hopefully this is the last that any of you see me here so wish me luck. Hi Im Kevin and I am a recovering addict...

Hi i'm Kevin and Im an addict... It doesnt get any easier, I am still fighting the good fight and stuff just keeps getting in the way. I have shared about my struggles with you through this but no one ever prepares you for withdrawal effects. The cold sweats at night, insomnia, appetite problems, weight loss or gain, headaches, lack of concentration etc. No one really prepares you for that. It becomes a battle of mind over matter and more often than not the matter wins because that is the point you start crawling slowly back to your addiction. You hear it calling for you and if you dont get to a meeting then you will just fall prey to it. Im thank ful that I get to these meetings in time or else i would never recover. Thanks for letting me share....                       Hi I'm Kevin and Im an addict.

Hi I'm Kevin and I'm an addict.... Cant believe its been a week since I was in a sharing session. Well its been a crazy week, did a few stupid things that addicts shouldnt do. Actually put myself jn sutuations where I might be tempted to use. Thankfully I didnt, sucked up my courage and just walked away. I let off some steam yesterday through one of my favourite hobbies, dont laugh but its karaoke. Brought the roof down like I was a rock star and the audience responded so beautifully. I hadnt done that in a while and the feeling was magical. Looks like a have found what I'd like to call my rhythmic release. The hardest thing I have had to endure is not let the darkness engulf me. You know when you really really need a hit and suddenly your mood changes and thats all you can think about. Thats how I feel sometimes and I have to do all I can to not let it take over. Kinda why i needed to come back and share with the rest of you degenerates. Thanks for letting me share. H

This goes out to all of the people who have been broken but have been strong enough to let go. For the people who have hurt so badly that they felt they could never love again, but kept their head up. For those who feel like going back to their old lover to put all the pieces back where they belong in hopes everything would fit, but accept the cold hard truth instead. For the people that learn from their mistakes and never stop moving forward, even when they take two steps back. For the people that wish loneliness wasn’t a part of them, but put up with it anyhow. For the people who come home with no missed calls, but smile anyway. For the people that periodically miss the past, but are so much more excited for the future. For the people that have wounds still healing. For the people that have so much tied to their past relationship, but break those chains to start fresh. For the people that want to look back so badly, but focus on the road ahead. For the people that pick up the phone s

Dear future Kevin, I know you are reading this from a lawn chair at sunset with the sound of kids or grandkids playing in the yard. I know you are probably not in the stage of life that you expected to be right now and you miss the friends that you used to know and the joy they brought you. Your body feels weaker now and you are probably few pounds heavier in the wrong places. I am guessing you quit drinking and living the high life some time ago to concentrate on whats important and your family thanks you for it. I am sure you only communicate with some members of the family and have completely ignored others at your current age and it doesn't bother you much. For this I say I am sorry, I lived the life that I was given to the best of what I thought were my abilities. I loved with a fierce flame and got put out in the cold snow and I felt I couldn't love anymore. I am sorry for the pounds on you for we were once strong and swift but now just the thought of exercise is tir