Skip to main content

I AM AN ADDICT.....PART 11- THE CHECK UP

Hi, I am Kevin and I am Addict.

 Its been 1,180 days since i shared in this group. I see some familiar faces like Mark over there. Stay strong brother, good to see you are still alive. I guess since only Mark and I laughed, we are the only ones who get it. I see some new faces, hey everyone, and off course our group counselor. For the new people around, a few years a go I hit rock bottom. For those who are yet to get hat feeling it is both the worst feeling in the world and a blessing for those who survive it.
My addiction pushed me to lows that I didn't know. My own self-worth was tied to the feeling that this drug gave me and to be honest I never thought I could be able to let it go. Just to be completely honest , especially for those who just joined the group, you never really stop wanting to use. You will always want that puff, the snort , that one pill that you feel you need to get you through the next minute of your life. The true power of sobriety comes from being able to overcome this feeling. We may not be able to change who we are but we can take responsibility for the things that we do.

 Repeat after me

 God grant me the serenity to accept he things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference

So why have i come back after all his time. Could be because I had missed you guys but in reality I realized that I couldn't continue doing it on my own. We all have friends, family and loved ones who cant seem to understand why we struggle with things that they can just stop. After a while i felt isolated and i almost slipped a few times. I flirted with the "Just once" story and a few times I almost did it.
Thanks for letting me share.
Hi I am Kevin and I am an ADDICT.....
I am back to keep getting better.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Always looking out for number 1

I just got a new job that is sales in nature , my previous job was an I.T. position which gave me a chance to compare the differences between humans and machines. A machine is supposed to be predictable ,with a particular set of inputs you get a particular set of outputs. A human is supposed to be unpredictable where one group wants to go left there is this guy who always wants to go right. However, I realized that machines can be at some point unpredictable while the humans vice versa. A human will be predictable in that every little situation you bring to him will only flow with your idea if and only if it is of some benefit to them. That brings me to the basis of this topic today, number in is you and your immediate interests and issues if importance. With that being said, I would love to burst the bubbles of certain individuals who seem to rely too much on other people. If you are an adult and probably approaching middle age, you are of three different levels of life : accomplis...
3 comments
Read more

She ain't going nowhere.....

Loneliness has always been a a friend of mine, way back when my thoughts were my own and very few people knew of my very existence.  Today the loneliness is back and it's back with a vengeance. "So what you upto tonight?" Asked John knocking me out of my deep thoughts. "Nothing much , got some writing to do and the words are at my finger tips and I don't want to lose them." I replied. John has always wanted the best for me, sort of like the big brother I never had. He opened up his doors to me this time when Mary threw me out for the first time. Who is Mary you ask. Where to start about Mary, well she was my first love and the first person who knew me behind the curtain I raised for most people. What did I do to get kicked out...  "STOP DAYDREAMING DUDE!!!" John screamed while shaking me. I hadn't noticed I had just wondered off. "Okay Bro,  since you are determined to stray my thoughts what do you have in mind?" I said hoping he...
2 comments
Read more

Nairobians and their class differences.....

So I like wearing power branded shoes sold by bata, some like weinbreinners and there are people who u really don't understand that wear sketchers. This is the most basic way of describing the different levels that we have in Nairobi, by levels I mean classes. There are those who treat crocs like something you wear around the yard while others may have it as a Sunday best. Don' t ask me if i have actually seen this but I'm sure it happens regularly.  Class isn't a new thing , from the aristocracy all the way to the caste system in India the classes have been clearly defined for millennia. I have a personal theory about this, with such a large population and there being such a powerful hunger to survive, people decided to try and define their difference between themselves and the others. When we first existed, the human race had such a low population that we required each other to survive. People may have existed like the bushmen of south africa where there were units of...
1 comment
Read more