KENYAN AND CRAZY

Over the years I have realized that this is what I would call my 'Vanity Blog', I don't write it to get noticed but for it to echo to myself. I have written things here both in drafts and published posts that I would not say out loud to anyone else, I keep doing it because its like a conversation I have with some one out there. Some one I cant see but I know they are out there. Weird as it sounds I find it therapeutic.  So today is my birthday and I figured, I better just post something about today....... Like many people, I usually get birthday blues. Its usually a feeling that starts a couple of days before my birthday where I think of the fact that now I have to change my age. The number I use to explain my status in life is going up again. I only actually started to get birthday blues a couple of years ago when I moved to Mombasa. Far away from family, friends and the place I could call home. It really brought out the home sickness in me. Thankfully I had made new fr...

It's dark in your mind but it's sunny outside. Your face is downcast but you are surrounded by laughter. There is some happy tool who keeps laughing at his own jokes yet you don't see the fun in them. You could hide behind the fact that you are used to British humor so the slapstick kind annoys you ,but at the very least you should crack  a smile at the blundering buffoon in front of you. Everyone who looks at you sees a blank expression,  it's almost like you are not there. You feel no stimulus , nothing at all makes you jump.  One thing and only one thing makes you "feel". Feel your heart pounding,  your palms sweaty and your muscles more energized. You feel more, alive, more in tune with the world. This one thing that can take different forms wakes you up, calms you down and excites you at the same time.  What is it......I would call them mind altering substances but you would call them drugs.  In this new life that we have created for ourselves you nee...